New Year - New Me!

Do I supposed to say "New Year - hoping for a New Me?"

"Forget 2009 and welcome 2010. Move on!" they say. But, do I really feel like moving on? I just can't let go of all those things. Well, the good ones I mean.

But, what about my attitude? Attitudes of mine that were being condemed by my inner self because of shame?

I learned from it though. I need to reconstruct my path. Need to live life to the fullest with integrity.

As I ponder, there were lots of things in our life which cost us to sacrifice something that will ,fortunately, give fruit into more abundant graces and blessings.

Things that are needed to be observed. Things that are needed to look closely upon.

My inner self spoke to me lately. Making me realized how many good things I have that I did not even recognized. I have family who loves me. I have friends who are close to me and are very supportive. I have many things to be happy about.

But why do I feel so lonely and left out?

Why do I feel breathless? Grasping for air even knowing that it would be impossible?

Why do I feel that I don't belong?

I wanna hide. Somewhere that nobody could ever fine me. Somewhere wherein I could slid my self into the depths of the earth.

Somewhere I know I could call my own. My own, which for now,I don't know what will I call my own.

I have nothing to be boast of. I am nothing in short.

I am just a low profile girl whom you've seen everywhere or even unnotice than her.

I got no beauty that could turn anyone in my direction.

I got only average brain. Enough to answer simple questions.

I got no special talents.

I only knew how to draw, make poems, novel and short stories. I love to play volleyball. I love to dance and to sing.

But, though, I am like that I know I am worthy of my self.

The thing that I don't know is that if I am worthy for the others.

Am I worthy of anything in this world?

Stupid of me! Why should I ask that. I know I'm not.