BROKEN ROSE; DOUBTFUL HEART

Well, I'm truly am confuse right now. I just can't understand my self. I've been so happy with someone yet, he doesn't even know that I like him ( sort of).

I feel like a trapped prisoner. With little joy. With a very shallow happiness. It feels bad. I hate it.

I've been crying. Crying for life to change me. But, all along I'm same. Still same. I was like been clutch by the thorns of roses which is really very very painful indeed!. Alas, it hurts.

I'm a prisoner of my self. A prisoner that longs to be free but, doesn't have the chance. A prisoner of love. A prisoner of grief and pain.

Others see this prisoner so happy and joyous but, they only see the mask that this prisoner is wearing to fool the people. To fool the guards. And to convince her self that she is truly happy. But, deep inside her she knows, that whatever she'll do she will always be a prisoner. And thus, no signs of hope to free her.

It's difficult to live. So difficult to breath. Even difficult to grasp for air. Living with no air. Yeah, that's it. Living with no air. So difficult.

My prayers are vain in the middle of the haystack. Vain. Vain.

MLCS

Well, there's nothing new in us. We're still friends. But, we tend to be reviving our close relationship from the past.

I love it!

A while ago (in our class) we teased each other. And thus, resulting for us to be notice by our teacher. Hehehe... And because of that our classmates tend to tease us also. Hahaha... Great!

Honestly, I don't find it so giggly now unlike before I get to used of him doing that to me. But, I bet he is not only doing that to me but, to all of the girls he hang out with. I hate it.

Worse. My friend told me that she saw him hang out with other girls from different major. I don't know if they were really friends. I pretended that I am not affected. I hate it.

He doesn't deserve me. Well, he's not.

I promised my self that whosoever be my boyfriend this time I would give him and treat all the lack that I failed to give to my xbf... hmmm... gush.. I don't want to cause pain again to someone. I hate it.

I rather be hurt than seeing someone hurt because of me. It's not just worth it.

I'll be keen enough to have a worthy boyfriend.

Hmmm.. I'm still so confuse right now. Truly am.

I can't decide.