BROKEN ROSE; DOUBTFUL HEART

Well, I'm truly am confuse right now. I just can't understand my self. I've been so happy with someone yet, he doesn't even know that I like him ( sort of).

I feel like a trapped prisoner. With little joy. With a very shallow happiness. It feels bad. I hate it.

I've been crying. Crying for life to change me. But, all along I'm same. Still same. I was like been clutch by the thorns of roses which is really very very painful indeed!. Alas, it hurts.

I'm a prisoner of my self. A prisoner that longs to be free but, doesn't have the chance. A prisoner of love. A prisoner of grief and pain.

Others see this prisoner so happy and joyous but, they only see the mask that this prisoner is wearing to fool the people. To fool the guards. And to convince her self that she is truly happy. But, deep inside her she knows, that whatever she'll do she will always be a prisoner. And thus, no signs of hope to free her.

It's difficult to live. So difficult to breath. Even difficult to grasp for air. Living with no air. Yeah, that's it. Living with no air. So difficult.

My prayers are vain in the middle of the haystack. Vain. Vain.

MLCS

Well, there's nothing new in us. We're still friends. But, we tend to be reviving our close relationship from the past.

I love it!

A while ago (in our class) we teased each other. And thus, resulting for us to be notice by our teacher. Hehehe... And because of that our classmates tend to tease us also. Hahaha... Great!

Honestly, I don't find it so giggly now unlike before I get to used of him doing that to me. But, I bet he is not only doing that to me but, to all of the girls he hang out with. I hate it.

Worse. My friend told me that she saw him hang out with other girls from different major. I don't know if they were really friends. I pretended that I am not affected. I hate it.

He doesn't deserve me. Well, he's not.

I promised my self that whosoever be my boyfriend this time I would give him and treat all the lack that I failed to give to my xbf... hmmm... gush.. I don't want to cause pain again to someone. I hate it.

I rather be hurt than seeing someone hurt because of me. It's not just worth it.

I'll be keen enough to have a worthy boyfriend.

Hmmm.. I'm still so confuse right now. Truly am.

I can't decide.

MLCS

Hahaha...

I'm really happy!

Hmmm... yesterday, we met. We actually planned it. Yes, but... just to study. I will, supposedly, taught him our discussion in our major. So, we met at our electronic library of the school. Actually, our school have 2 libraries. The Electronic and the Non-electronic. We met.

I heard his voice but, I didn't look up. I don't really know what to do. I planned. If he will go to me then, I would act like as if I didn't heard him coming. Alas, it did happened. Hahaha... I was busy reading(part of the act). He was getting near me. He is at my left. Violet sofa. I was sitting at the Yellow one(Yellow is my fav. color). He distract me by saying "Grace!" together with pushing the magazine to me. And I looked up. Startled(part of the act). He laughed. He said, "You're so serious". I smiled. He has actually a companion. I've seen him twice. He was at my right. Sitting at the Yellow sofa just like mine. He is neat.

I continue reading. MLCS told me that he already knew the discussion and thus, was greatful that I still went to the library (if he only knew). I told him, "It's okey. I am reading. There's no things to do eh-". He agreed.

I continue reading but, a bit conscious. He was at my side(Imagine?). He and his friend discussed something about the news. He casually looked at me ( I won't anymore tell the other part co'z I'm running out of time now).

Bye... that's for now!

I love it!

for almost 1.5 hours we were together.

NeW CuTie in My LisT!

Good Morning!

hahaha...

So happy! I really am. I have new cuTie people in my list. Yup, by bro and sis... hehehe... He is actually from Mr. Suico's class. He's sitting at the first seat-last column of the room.

Yup2x! He is far from me but, hahaha... I've seen him!

My eyes are too sensitive right now!

Hmm...

Yes, I'm finding now.

Whew... I'm trying keenly.

MLCS

Good morning!!! Moyem!!!

hmmm...

Well, I really don't know what we're going to do today in my first period class. So, here I am writing blogs. Hahaha...

I love it.

Well, MLCS.. and I get a little close yesterday. Yes, oh yes. We did.

It started here:

After our teacher dismissed us, I accidentally pushed a boy classmate of mine. I of course asked sorry to him but, MLCS teased me. Saying: Ah, sos... gituyo jud to!.. hahaha..." And in my part of course I didn't. Hmm... So I ride with his teasing. I am quite used to it already. And I silently like it. hahaha...

Well, that's all for now. Hmmm.. We'll meet again after 5 mins. from now. hehehe..

Bye for now.

MLCS

Yes! Gud morning people of the earth!!!

I am so happy.

First, I am not late at school. Hahaha...Second, We are still classmate today with hmmm... hahahahaha.. I love it!

I really don't know what would be our activity today at my first period but, it's okay co'z were classmate!. I love it! I am alone right now here at the Accountancy Department of our school because as a matter of fact I am so early. I love it!!!

Well, I'll be dropping by again soon.

Hmmm... I love it!!!

MLCS

It's really a great morning!

Haha... though I was late in my first period class.

This 1styr-ever crush of mine is my classmate. Can you believe that?... Oh my... Ravising!!! hahaha...

It is really great.. I love it.

Oh, well. Ok then, I was late for about 8 mins. maybe. I sat (noisily). He looked at me. Oh- maybe not directly looking at me but, I can feel it. He looks so good with his usual hair style. OH--- as I observed he was wearing black t-shirt now... and I really love black. I'm happy though I'm wearing red there's a touch of black in my undershirt... hehehe...

He told me that I was all red. I laughed and punced him a little. I flirt. But, then I know I look awful since, I wasn't able to comb and fix my self. Hmmm... Discouraging, he told me to retouch. Ouch. Well, I don't care. Why will he care we're in fact there were still lots of girls who were more untidy than me. Hmmpp! But, I love it. He notice me then. I smile secretly.

Yes! Our teacher told us to be in pairs. Unfortunately we're not partners. But, we're adjacent. hahaha... we could still talk to each other. My partner is Melven( I just knew his name a while ago) hmmm... they're seatmates. So, while we were talking of Melven he would casually (maybe) look at me or in my direction. Then, when I talked he also joined in with our discussion of my partner. Hmmm.. Boiling hot chocolate! hahaha... I just don't know why...

Then, he teased me again!... OH my God...

After the class, I went to the Accountancy Dept. directly. And I really fix my self. Then I went out, looking for him. Hmmpp! I like to show him now that I fix and pull my self together. Hahaha...

Fortunately, (God's wil maybe) when I was about to take the elevator someone called me. It was my name whenever he teased me. So, I was sure it was him. GGGrrr... but, I'm happy.

Hahaha.. he was smiling. I was smiling too. He have his companion. I told him that he should stop calling me with that. I told him that if he won't then I will throw him the LogBook that I'm currently carrying at that time. Hahaha.. (drama) then he give a sign of peace. He said that it was just a joke. Hahaha.. I knew. Hmmm.. Ravishing!!!

"Mischevious feeling"

OMG!!!...

Though I already knew that we will be classmate in one subject, but I can't stop my self from imagining things that this is just another dream.

Hmmm...

This is great.

He is my classmate in a first period. Isn't it nice? Super nice I mean. Starting my day with him is really satisfying and OOOOHHHH... ravishing.

hahahaha... I love it.

What a feeling.

I'm BACK...

hahaha...

I'm happy I'm back!

Well, it's quite some time when I haven't visited my blog.

hahaha...

It's all because my finals lately occupied my mind.

But, now...

See?

I'm back.

I'm done with my finals.

And my grades are out.

And...

hahaha...

Well, I have no line of seven.. or shall we say AX

but, I am not included in the honor roll since, I got below 85 grades.

Aja!

for my summer class.