BROKEN ROSE; DOUBTFUL HEART 2

It's devastatingly difficult for me right now to think. Since, I have lots of things to ponder upon.

Seems like I am a fallen roses that vanishes into the garden wherein one couldn't find me or identify me anymore. I feel so lonely and hopeless.

I was devastated by my current status. OH- my gush...!

I am a clipped bird that long to fly high but couldn't and thus, no one else could help me find the way out. I am trapped to this devastated cage of my life.

Less color and futile. And one coudn't expect to live in my place. No light since there is no hope.

No trace of joy but, full of dark. Yes, alas. That's my life. That's me. So lonely me!

In my childhood days I long to be loved. But, somehow it was like a dream. Yes, only a dream for a child like me.

Well, they say that I was really loved but, no!@@@@ I didn't that I was.

HHHHHhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm...

I was all alone.

I was alone.

Missing...U...

oh, how I miss my batch mates in high school. Oh, how I miss my dormates in high school. My gush... I still want to go back in my high school days. I love my dormates. I miss my bestfriend. Maria Teresa Clarinan. I miss her.

Well, all I've got to do is call her late at night. After my class. Hahaha... but, it's all worth is coz I still got to talk to talk to her many things. Hmmm...

I wonder how is she right now.....

BROKEN ROSE; DOUBTFUL HEART

I am currently battling my self now. My gush... I don't know what to decide and what to do! I have this bad feeling that if I will do this thing... I will never be the same again.

I've been so lonely lately. My head aches and my heart bleeds. Torn into pieces. Like lots of pieces that some of it is invisible to the eye. To be seen no more.

Scars are left into my wounded heart. Thinking of no lights in my path of life. No shadows of known being. Strange scary things are vivid enough. Left me bewildered with life.

Balancing my thoughts is not that easy as others may think. It's so difficult. Thinking that no one is going to save you from this disastrous reality left me so fragile and broken.

My life seems to be futile. No glow in my cheeks. No color in ways. Just deem black. Black, symbol of my inner self. So bewildered. Full of doubt.

Today, I have no one to turn to. I have no one to cry. My best friend is in other place. I need to ride a ship in order to get near her. She seems to be so many miles away. So away from me. I feel so alone. I am alone.

Unfortunately!

It's quite disappointing in my part that somehow, not withstanding the ideas that someone expects from you. Well, it does really hurt but then, it's what how I think. But, due to the fact that people don't understand you just because they too have their own insights about the fact you tend to be sensitive about their feelings. Huh... is all I can utter!