Silently Loving You (PREFACE)

Preface:

Life is truly full of surprises. You never know what will it brings you. You just let fate take it’s own chances.

Love it self is also unpredictable. It came without you knowing it. Sometimes you just recognize love when you already fall hard. But, falling in love is not that easy. It may take you to heaven or it may take you the other way around.

I always dreamed of having a perfect guy in my relationship. Wherein he has all the abilities and attitudes that I wanted my guy to have. But, indeed. life is full of surprises and love in the other hand is unpredictable. I didn’t expect to find that perfect guy in my dreams in the same person whom I hate the most.

...my own work...

Happy 18th B-day Bullz!!!

Happy 18th B-day Kim!!!

I love you.

Bullz, always take care of your self.

Remember: No matter what always stay poise and beautiful.

hehehe...

I'll be visiting you this 4pm.

Stressful!!!

Gush!!!

So stressful...

I just finished my registration in Comelec.

Hmm... I didn't consider the point that it would be so stressing.

It's already pass 1 in the afternoon but, I haven't eaten my breakfast yet.

Actually, I went to the registration area at 6:00 in the morning.

And when I got there the line was too long already.

"Oh, my" I muttered to my self.

Fortunately, I saw a friend of mind who let me get in the line beside her.

If not for her I know that until this time I won't be here writing my blog coz for sure I will still be at the Comelec right now.

Hmp!

I really hate their system. As in.

I'm planning not to go back their.

Maybe next time I can't surpass it.

Pet Society; I love it!

Oh my gush,

I really love to be online always.

I think I got addicted to pet society now.

Hahaha...

Last night,

I visited Chidli.

Well, I let her compete in race.

For three attempts she got the third place which is the last place.

Bad indeed.

But, it's okey. I encouraged her.

It was still her first time in the race.

Then for the next two attempts or third she got the second place.

Well2x she's doing better.

After that we compete for another race this time with Colin and Kasimir her close friends in Pet Society.

She got the first place!!!.

Yes, she got the first place twice!

I took a picture of her every time she raced most especially when she won.

She's really cute.

And as a reward I bought her a flower, a new dress and two new cabinets.

She really likes them.

Then I thought her how to play the jumping rope.

I took picture of that.

It took her more or less five attempts to somehow reached ten jumps.

She's really cute.

I loved her.

And the society really got fun of her coz every time I visit her she will let me accompany her to her friend's house.

Sometimes she tells them joke. Some she gives kisses and hugs.

They loved her as much as I love her.

I'll be visiting her again after my session here in school.

Quite a Day!!!

What a day!!!

Huh...

I wake up early in the morning coz if I won't I'll be late again for school.

Great!

I'm always am. Hmp!!!

I got at the Accountancy Department ahead than the others.

I turn on the computer to check my e-mail.

There's something new.

It's from Spiders, Astrology and Tagged.

Oh well, tagged.

I checked my inbox in tagged too.

I got lots of messages mostly from my new friend Joe.

I read it.

I loved to read messages from him.

Hahaha...

Their funny. He is really stubborn if he wants to.

I really enjoy his messages. Hoping he too.

Then I got an e-mail from Lil my friend from tagged also.

We always tackle about life.

He shared to me how he graduated in College wherein I'm currently into.

Maybe, I'm going to apply that too.

Then, I replied to their messages.

I got no reply from Lil maybe his busy but, I've got lots of replies from Joe.

Well, same as ever he's replies really made me laugh and smile.

I got fond of Joe honestly.

It's because every time I checked my inbox in tagged I always got a lot of message from him.

And I also send him a lot of messages.

Just a friendly messages of course!

We've only got to know each other through tagged for more than a week now.

Well, I hope his visit in Phil. will really happen so that I may get to see him and know about him more.

In the afternoon, I've done not much.

Oh well, I've done nothing.

BROKEN ROSE; DOUBTFUL HEART 3

I am all alone in this room.

With no intervention from outside.

I clutch a rose.

A thorny rose.

It's painful.

It slowly creep into my skin until blood flows out.

I'm hurting.

Seems my life is like that.

Truly, a good comparison indeed!

I'm lonely.

I don't have someone to lean on.

No friends to call on.

There's no one I could ask for help.

I'm totally hopeless.

I'm going through hell alone.

And everyone could see it.

I am but, a mere teenager who wanted to have a peace of mind.

Who wanted to stop the battle in my self.

It's doubtful.

Feels like I'm broken.

Broken and Doubtful.

Color of Life

There are things that we need to know.

There are secrets that we need to discover.

And life is part of that mystery.

Nobody knows the true color of life.

What it meant to be.

For if you ask me

It's the trials and sorrows,

the joy and fun

We had done together

the pains and challenges

that both of us succeeded

the laughing and crying

that two of us experienced.

They are the color of life

that we, both of us portray in our hearts

The paints that we use

in our own art.

They are the color of our life.

Rain

The sounds of droplets made by the rain

Are seems to be music in my ear.

The water that pours out to my body

seems to quiver me.

The coldness of the water that scattered to my body

are seems to make me chilly.

The thunder and lightning

are making me move quickly.

The waving and blowing of the wind

are making me freeze.


But, when the sun starts to shine

My dhear friend rain

go away and hide

"See you again my friend"

I said fantastically.

She smile at me

and go away (zoom!)

Bonne Chance!

My Dhear friends,

I miss our bonding to be together.

I miss them a lot,

I miss the rivers where we use to swam most of the time.

I miss the mountains where we use to go.

I miss the yellow roses where I use to put on your hair.

All the fun that we had I really miss.

So too with the trials and sorrows

such as when our both mothers

scolded us coz of getting home too late.

When our teacher were angry

coz of our tricks to them

and be always togher.

All of them I miss but, most especially I miss you.

You, who gave color to my life.

Without you I'm nothing.

Really nothing!

But now you're gone.

I can't do anything .

The only thing I can do is...

say...

Bonnce Chance for you!

How?

Well,

How can you forget the person you really loved before

if...

even a single blank message...

can make you fall in love again.

Falling In Love

Falling in love with unexpected person is like falling asleep while the class in going on.

You are not supposed to but, you did.

NOTHING MORE!!! (hate 8)

Am I that ugly?

With a deserted face that you can't even court me?

Hahaizzz...

I just don't understand my self anymore.

I've seen you happy with me, but it's all in a friendly way and NOTHING MORE.

It's unfair!

Life is unfair!

Love is unfair!

I loved you and I always will.

You, you don't love me.

I admired you.

You, you don't admire me. Well, you appreciated me once or twice but that's all.

There's NOTHING MORE.

You didn't see the person inside me that silently loving you.

You didn't recognize the glitters and sparkles in my eyes whenever I see you.

You didn't even noticed how excited I am whenever we set a time to meet.

It's painful.

I'm hurting.

My heart will bleed again if ever I'll see you flirting with other girls.

I just couldn't bear it.

I want to freak out.

I want to snatch you up from those pretty girls around you.

And take you to a place where I'm free to show you my love.

But I couldn't.

I don't have the right .

I'm just your friend.

Definitely your friend. And will always will.

MLCS

He is definitely nothing to me now.

Well, yesterday, he approached me. He wanted to ask my help. And I help him.

After that we never met. He didn't even say thank you to me.

I don't feel any feelings for him anymore.

He's a plain friend for me now. But, I don't know about him. I don't care.

I've been so bad lately.

Well, I guess I am.

I mean, I can't understand my self.

I felt like a trap little bird.

Yesterday, Angel (a friend of mine) spend our night in Cafe.

And to tell, I just wasted my money with nothing important.

Hahaizzz...

She felt that way too.

I went straight to home.

Since, from now on I'll have curfew.

10 pm I must be in our hours.

My Dad got angry when I got home drifting.

That was devastatingly bad situation.

I hate it.

I must not let him see me weak.

I must be strong in his eyes.

But, he saw me that way.

He lost his belief on me.

I hate it.

Not worth it.

BROKEN ROSE; DOUBTFUL HEART

Well, I'm truly am confuse right now. I just can't understand my self. I've been so happy with someone yet, he doesn't even know that I like him ( sort of).

I feel like a trapped prisoner. With little joy. With a very shallow happiness. It feels bad. I hate it.

I've been crying. Crying for life to change me. But, all along I'm same. Still same. I was like been clutch by the thorns of roses which is really very very painful indeed!. Alas, it hurts.

I'm a prisoner of my self. A prisoner that longs to be free but, doesn't have the chance. A prisoner of love. A prisoner of grief and pain.

Others see this prisoner so happy and joyous but, they only see the mask that this prisoner is wearing to fool the people. To fool the guards. And to convince her self that she is truly happy. But, deep inside her she knows, that whatever she'll do she will always be a prisoner. And thus, no signs of hope to free her.

It's difficult to live. So difficult to breath. Even difficult to grasp for air. Living with no air. Yeah, that's it. Living with no air. So difficult.

My prayers are vain in the middle of the haystack. Vain. Vain.

MLCS

Well, there's nothing new in us. We're still friends. But, we tend to be reviving our close relationship from the past.

I love it!

A while ago (in our class) we teased each other. And thus, resulting for us to be notice by our teacher. Hehehe... And because of that our classmates tend to tease us also. Hahaha... Great!

Honestly, I don't find it so giggly now unlike before I get to used of him doing that to me. But, I bet he is not only doing that to me but, to all of the girls he hang out with. I hate it.

Worse. My friend told me that she saw him hang out with other girls from different major. I don't know if they were really friends. I pretended that I am not affected. I hate it.

He doesn't deserve me. Well, he's not.

I promised my self that whosoever be my boyfriend this time I would give him and treat all the lack that I failed to give to my xbf... hmmm... gush.. I don't want to cause pain again to someone. I hate it.

I rather be hurt than seeing someone hurt because of me. It's not just worth it.

I'll be keen enough to have a worthy boyfriend.

Hmmm.. I'm still so confuse right now. Truly am.

I can't decide.

MLCS

Hahaha...

I'm really happy!

Hmmm... yesterday, we met. We actually planned it. Yes, but... just to study. I will, supposedly, taught him our discussion in our major. So, we met at our electronic library of the school. Actually, our school have 2 libraries. The Electronic and the Non-electronic. We met.

I heard his voice but, I didn't look up. I don't really know what to do. I planned. If he will go to me then, I would act like as if I didn't heard him coming. Alas, it did happened. Hahaha... I was busy reading(part of the act). He was getting near me. He is at my left. Violet sofa. I was sitting at the Yellow one(Yellow is my fav. color). He distract me by saying "Grace!" together with pushing the magazine to me. And I looked up. Startled(part of the act). He laughed. He said, "You're so serious". I smiled. He has actually a companion. I've seen him twice. He was at my right. Sitting at the Yellow sofa just like mine. He is neat.

I continue reading. MLCS told me that he already knew the discussion and thus, was greatful that I still went to the library (if he only knew). I told him, "It's okey. I am reading. There's no things to do eh-". He agreed.

I continue reading but, a bit conscious. He was at my side(Imagine?). He and his friend discussed something about the news. He casually looked at me ( I won't anymore tell the other part co'z I'm running out of time now).

Bye... that's for now!

I love it!

for almost 1.5 hours we were together.

NeW CuTie in My LisT!

Good Morning!

hahaha...

So happy! I really am. I have new cuTie people in my list. Yup, by bro and sis... hehehe... He is actually from Mr. Suico's class. He's sitting at the first seat-last column of the room.

Yup2x! He is far from me but, hahaha... I've seen him!

My eyes are too sensitive right now!

Hmm...

Yes, I'm finding now.

Whew... I'm trying keenly.

MLCS

Good morning!!! Moyem!!!

hmmm...

Well, I really don't know what we're going to do today in my first period class. So, here I am writing blogs. Hahaha...

I love it.

Well, MLCS.. and I get a little close yesterday. Yes, oh yes. We did.

It started here:

After our teacher dismissed us, I accidentally pushed a boy classmate of mine. I of course asked sorry to him but, MLCS teased me. Saying: Ah, sos... gituyo jud to!.. hahaha..." And in my part of course I didn't. Hmm... So I ride with his teasing. I am quite used to it already. And I silently like it. hahaha...

Well, that's all for now. Hmmm.. We'll meet again after 5 mins. from now. hehehe..

Bye for now.

MLCS

Yes! Gud morning people of the earth!!!

I am so happy.

First, I am not late at school. Hahaha...Second, We are still classmate today with hmmm... hahahahaha.. I love it!

I really don't know what would be our activity today at my first period but, it's okay co'z were classmate!. I love it! I am alone right now here at the Accountancy Department of our school because as a matter of fact I am so early. I love it!!!

Well, I'll be dropping by again soon.

Hmmm... I love it!!!

MLCS

It's really a great morning!

Haha... though I was late in my first period class.

This 1styr-ever crush of mine is my classmate. Can you believe that?... Oh my... Ravising!!! hahaha...

It is really great.. I love it.

Oh, well. Ok then, I was late for about 8 mins. maybe. I sat (noisily). He looked at me. Oh- maybe not directly looking at me but, I can feel it. He looks so good with his usual hair style. OH--- as I observed he was wearing black t-shirt now... and I really love black. I'm happy though I'm wearing red there's a touch of black in my undershirt... hehehe...

He told me that I was all red. I laughed and punced him a little. I flirt. But, then I know I look awful since, I wasn't able to comb and fix my self. Hmmm... Discouraging, he told me to retouch. Ouch. Well, I don't care. Why will he care we're in fact there were still lots of girls who were more untidy than me. Hmmpp! But, I love it. He notice me then. I smile secretly.

Yes! Our teacher told us to be in pairs. Unfortunately we're not partners. But, we're adjacent. hahaha... we could still talk to each other. My partner is Melven( I just knew his name a while ago) hmmm... they're seatmates. So, while we were talking of Melven he would casually (maybe) look at me or in my direction. Then, when I talked he also joined in with our discussion of my partner. Hmmm.. Boiling hot chocolate! hahaha... I just don't know why...

Then, he teased me again!... OH my God...

After the class, I went to the Accountancy Dept. directly. And I really fix my self. Then I went out, looking for him. Hmmpp! I like to show him now that I fix and pull my self together. Hahaha...

Fortunately, (God's wil maybe) when I was about to take the elevator someone called me. It was my name whenever he teased me. So, I was sure it was him. GGGrrr... but, I'm happy.

Hahaha.. he was smiling. I was smiling too. He have his companion. I told him that he should stop calling me with that. I told him that if he won't then I will throw him the LogBook that I'm currently carrying at that time. Hahaha.. (drama) then he give a sign of peace. He said that it was just a joke. Hahaha.. I knew. Hmmm.. Ravishing!!!

"Mischevious feeling"

OMG!!!...

Though I already knew that we will be classmate in one subject, but I can't stop my self from imagining things that this is just another dream.

Hmmm...

This is great.

He is my classmate in a first period. Isn't it nice? Super nice I mean. Starting my day with him is really satisfying and OOOOHHHH... ravishing.

hahahaha... I love it.

What a feeling.

I'm BACK...

hahaha...

I'm happy I'm back!

Well, it's quite some time when I haven't visited my blog.

hahaha...

It's all because my finals lately occupied my mind.

But, now...

See?

I'm back.

I'm done with my finals.

And my grades are out.

And...

hahaha...

Well, I have no line of seven.. or shall we say AX

but, I am not included in the honor roll since, I got below 85 grades.

Aja!

for my summer class.

BROKEN ROSE; DOUBTFUL HEART 2

It's devastatingly difficult for me right now to think. Since, I have lots of things to ponder upon.

Seems like I am a fallen roses that vanishes into the garden wherein one couldn't find me or identify me anymore. I feel so lonely and hopeless.

I was devastated by my current status. OH- my gush...!

I am a clipped bird that long to fly high but couldn't and thus, no one else could help me find the way out. I am trapped to this devastated cage of my life.

Less color and futile. And one coudn't expect to live in my place. No light since there is no hope.

No trace of joy but, full of dark. Yes, alas. That's my life. That's me. So lonely me!

In my childhood days I long to be loved. But, somehow it was like a dream. Yes, only a dream for a child like me.

Well, they say that I was really loved but, no!@@@@ I didn't that I was.

HHHHHhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm...

I was all alone.

I was alone.

Missing...U...

oh, how I miss my batch mates in high school. Oh, how I miss my dormates in high school. My gush... I still want to go back in my high school days. I love my dormates. I miss my bestfriend. Maria Teresa Clarinan. I miss her.

Well, all I've got to do is call her late at night. After my class. Hahaha... but, it's all worth is coz I still got to talk to talk to her many things. Hmmm...

I wonder how is she right now.....

BROKEN ROSE; DOUBTFUL HEART

I am currently battling my self now. My gush... I don't know what to decide and what to do! I have this bad feeling that if I will do this thing... I will never be the same again.

I've been so lonely lately. My head aches and my heart bleeds. Torn into pieces. Like lots of pieces that some of it is invisible to the eye. To be seen no more.

Scars are left into my wounded heart. Thinking of no lights in my path of life. No shadows of known being. Strange scary things are vivid enough. Left me bewildered with life.

Balancing my thoughts is not that easy as others may think. It's so difficult. Thinking that no one is going to save you from this disastrous reality left me so fragile and broken.

My life seems to be futile. No glow in my cheeks. No color in ways. Just deem black. Black, symbol of my inner self. So bewildered. Full of doubt.

Today, I have no one to turn to. I have no one to cry. My best friend is in other place. I need to ride a ship in order to get near her. She seems to be so many miles away. So away from me. I feel so alone. I am alone.

Unfortunately!

It's quite disappointing in my part that somehow, not withstanding the ideas that someone expects from you. Well, it does really hurt but then, it's what how I think. But, due to the fact that people don't understand you just because they too have their own insights about the fact you tend to be sensitive about their feelings. Huh... is all I can utter!

School Free DAy!

Yehey!

We've got no school today!

No teacher and no naughty classmates hanging around!

But, definitely no BFsss...

hahaha...

WeeEEee... I finished reading my Lost Bride book! It really captured my attention. And honestly, I didn't sleep until I didn't finish reading it. Whew! I slept 2:00 in the next morning! Haha... but, it's worth it! I love the book! Hmmm... I wonder if fairies are really true... Well, I hope they are. Haha.. I secretly wish that they will come and get me! Haha.. and make me a princess in their land.. Wishful thinking!

Honestly, I have this man---- always in my mind! By dream ever-beloved man! He has all the potential that I want him to have. I love him. I just dare hope that he existed. But, then I know God prepared something more worthy for me. Though not perfect just like me but, a person that just fits me! I dreamed of getting into it now! Haha...

Here! deep inside my heart I am always longing for a true love or if not true love... but a long time relationship. Well, it just happen that I can't keep long time relationship. I just don't know why! It's just that I don't want to fall out of love! I don't want love to rule over me! So that is why, to express my self I just keep reading romantic novels.. OOOhhh... I don't want to be hurt becoz of love. And I didn't try crying in pain becuase of any boyfriend that I had. Well, for me they just come and go. That's it and nothing more.

My friends wouldn't be amazed if I say that my boyfriend and I just break-up recently and no trace of pain in me. Well, they get used to it. I didn't, sometimes, tell them if that guy and I is on! Haha.. I just want them to know through our actions.

Relationship for me is not really that serious. It's just a mere human need of affection. Well, I've got plenty of it! But, in me I need boyfriend coz my friends have them. It's what I mean of having boyfriend. Honestly, one mistake of the person who courted me somehow take any feelings I have for him. And if I daresay, I love the person I would do my very best to get rid of him if I can't get rid of this love he caused me. And I'll hate him for letting me feel love. I don't like it!

But, there is this particular person in my life that I love him for he is. And not hating him for letting me feel this way. I just don't know why... ooh- when he will actually look at me dah,.. feels like heaven descended to earth!
OOhh... he is very different from all the person I actually get acquainted with. He seems like my other half. I have lots of crushes and puppy loves and most of them I hate, now! But, him?! Oh- how I wished he would court me and tell me that he loves me or even if he only says that he likes me! Bless be!

Boring...

Oh.. its just that there's no much excitement in my day. All goes routinely! Though in my first period, LAW, I got 7 out 10 items. It's quite better than flank. I don't find Law interesting. Ooppss.. Sorry for that! Haha... After that no much of happenings. I didn't eat my lunch I just spend my break at the library and read my into-overwhelming-book The Lost Bride! I love it! I was pretty please coz supposedly I have class in 1:00 pm for my Management 1a but luckily we didn't. The incharged informed us that our teacher won't be around. And so there I am spending another one hour of time at the library!

At 3:00 I have my Physical Educ. class pretty boring. I didn't listen to our teacher. I was disappointed. We should have our volleyball playing but instead he lectured on Basketball. He said we were now behind from other class! And oh- too bad. I really love volleyball! It's my fav. game! I hate sir for that. Haha...

5:00 came. It's time for my Accounting Subject. And ooopss.. I saw my cute classmate again but I am not in mood to noticed his presence! Ouch! Sorry... He actually recited and answered boardworks... my friends told me that I should answer too! But, as I may say... I didn't I am too engrossed in reading the novel. Well, there goes my day! Boom! Haha...

The Lost Bride

"A beautifully mystical journey of love, loss and triumph."-Nora Roberts. Yeah, Nora Roberts is really right about this! The Lost Bride is really a great story. Hmm... I wonder where did the author get inspiration of this lovely novel.

The novel exquisitely get the attention of the reader. Wherein, one can't be satisfied by not finishing it after reading even just a little of it! Even from the start it really hurdle me to read it.

The Lovers- Chloe Hartsell and Gideon Stone... I just love their team up. I love their characters. Nice one. Ten points for that! I love the plot of the story and the settings. The passion of the characters- very nice. I have read lots of novels.. -Bookworm as they say! This is one of the most top stories that I will keep forever! And I will recommend dearly.

A Love Letter Part 2

"We loved one another from the first moment we met, though we did not speak of our love until the evening of my eighteenth birthday. All our friends and relatives had come to my party, and in the evening we danced on the big old carpet which we had laid down in the barn. Richard had come with the Van Rensburgs, and we danced together as often as we dared, which was not very often, for my father hated the Uitlanders. Indeed, for a time he had quarreled with Mynheer Van Rensburg for allowing Richard to board with him, but afterwards he got used to the idea, and was always polite to the Englishman, though he never liked him."That was the happiest birthday of my life, for while we were resting between dances Richard took me outside into the cool, moonlit night, and there, under the stars ,he told me he loved me and asked me to marry him. Of course I promised I would, for I was too happy to think of what my parents would say, or indeed of anything except Richard was not at our meeting place as he had arranged. I was disappointed but not alarmed, for so many things could happen to either of us to prevent out keeping our tryst. I thought that next time we visited the Van Ransburgs, I should hear what had kept him and we could plan further meetings…"So when my father asked if I would drive with him to Driefontein I was delighted. But when we reached the homestead and were sitting on the stoep drinking our coffee, we heard that Richard had left quite suddenly and had gone back to England. His father had died, and now he was the heir and must go back to look after his estates.
"I do not remember very much more about that day, except that the sun seemed to have stopped shining and the country no longer looked beautiful and full of promise, but bleak and desolate as it sometimes does in winter or in times of drought. Late that afternoon, Jantje, the little Hottentot herd boy, came up to me and handed me a letter , which he said the English baas had left for me. It was the only love letter I ever received, but it turned all my bitterness and grief into a peacefulness which was the nearest I could get, then, to happiness. I knew Richard still loved me, and somehow, as long as I had his letter, I felt that we could never be really parted, even if he were in England and I had to remain on the farm. I have it yet, and though I am an old, tired woman, it still gives me hope and courage."
"I must have been a wonderful letter, Aunt Stephia,"I saidThe old lady came back from her dreams of that far-off romance."Perhaps," she said, hesitating a little, "perhaps, my dear, you would care to read it ?""I should love to , Aunt Stephia,"I said gentlyShe rose at once and tripped into the house as eagerly as a young girl. When she came back she handed me a letter, faded and yellow with age, the edges of the envelope worn and frayed as though it had been much handled. But when I came to open it I found that the seal was unbroken."Open it ,open it,"said Great-aunt Stephia, and her voice was shakingI broke the seal and read.
It was not a love letter in the true sense of the word, but pages of the minutest directions of how"my sweetest Phina"was to elude her father's vigilance, creep down to the drift at night and there meet Jantje with a horse which would take her to Smitsdorp. There she was to go to "my true friend, Henry Wilson",who would give her money and make arrangements for her to follow her lover to Cape Town and from there to England ," where, my love, we can he be married at once. But if, my dearest, you are not sure that you can face lift with me in a land strange to you, then do not take this important step, for I love you too much to wish you the smallest unhappiness. If you do not come, and if I do not hear from you, then I shall know that you could never be happy so far from the people and the country which you love. If, however, you feel you can keep your promise to me, but are of too timid and modest a journey to England unaccompanied, then write to me, and I will, by some means, return to fetch my bride."
I read no further."But Aunt Phina!"I gasped. "Why…why…?"The old lady was watching me with trembling eagerness, her face flushed and her eyes bright with expectation."Read it aloud, my dear,"she said."I want to hear every word of it. There was never anyone I could trust…Uitlanders were hated in my young days…I could not ask anyone."



"But, Auntie, don't you even know what he wrote?"The old lady looked down, troubled and shy like a child who has unwittingly done wrong."No, dear," she said, speaking very low."You see, I never learned to read.

Ah... I'm so disappointed! My cute classmate in the Accounting didn't even bother to look at me. Well, uhmmm... I don't know if he did. I didn't really looked at him. Haha... but, then I knew it. I feel it.

Oh well, I enjoy my accounting class though. We were just laughing with my groupmates during our quiz. I don't even know if our answers are correct. Haha.. I was actually studying the other subject - Financial Management coz we'll be having quiz after my class in accounting. And its worth it. Actually, I got perfect from the quiz! And I love it.

After my class in FM2-Banking, I together with a gay friend of mine- oh so too with my long-time-ever dream boy in my life- went to their classroom in computer! My gush... we were actually teasing each other though there talking quite a lot their other subject! But, it's ok. I sometimes but-in! Haha...

I left the school past 8:00 in the evening. Along the way to the internet cafe I saw my cute classmate from accounting he was with his friends, probably they played DOTA. Oh- that classmate of mine didn't saw me. I knew it. And I hate it.

Devastated!

Whew! 4:00 this afternoon! So tired. Our department have its meeting right now. And I just drop by to take this note coz I feel so devastated. My gush... Actually the computer didn't function well, at first, but thanks be to God it cooperates after. So tired. I've done a lot of things this recent hours. The office is at the 4th floor but most of my works is at the ground floor. Whew! but it's okey though I love the work. Hoping that they wont finish not later that 5:00. Haha... I love to rest. I haven't finish yet reading the novel that I am currently into. The Lost Bride. Well, uhmm... it's really interesting. And I am actually a certified Bookworm. But I don't like to read now. I feel devastated. I'm tired. So tired. And my head is aching. Whew!

Butterfly full stomach of Mine

Oh my gush! Hmmm... I feel so shy! What happened in the Accounting Subject of mine is really rediculous! Haha... but though, I like it!

This is it. I have this classmate of mine wherein He is the most cutiest guy I've ever seen in our classroom. Yeah, he is that great guy! And... oooooohhhhhh... he approached me yesterday during our class asking me if his answer in the boardwork is correct. And... haha... I love this! While I answer him. Hmmm... my fwnds keep teasing us! Oh my God! "Grace, just keep cool!" they said and laughed. Oh... I felt like ice! He actually heard them and just keep smiling at me! Hmmm... I always looked at him in the eyes. Those beautiful eyes of his! Haha... then he will look at me, but keep asking me questions. I love it though.

When I finally seated at my place I can't help but glance at him and smile. Haha... I saw him looking at me! Oh, maybe staring at me! Hmmm... But, this great pack of friends of mine. They teased us again. And not only them, the whole class actually teased us. His seatmate keep calling my name but, no I didn't dare to look at him again I might see him looking at me! I might melt from his glance. I really don't know what to do! So I just look at our Professor but then, she too is smiling at me while glancing sometimes to my beloved cute classmate. "Did she also know?!" I asked my self. My gush...

The bell rings. End of the period. End of the class. Oh---End of seeing him for now! But, Haha... I will see him tomorrow! I love it! I stand up not looking at him but keep smiling to myself. They still keep on teasing us. His seatmate still keep on calling my name! Oh... why torment me like this. I feel like butterflies flooded my stomach. Hmmm... I really like him. Hoping that he won't be absent in our class. I hope to see him again. And hoping Haha... they will tease us again.!

A Love Letter Part 1

I was always a little in awe of Great-aunt Stephina Roos. Indeed, as children we were all frankly terrified of her. The fact that she did not live with the family, preferring her tiny cottage and solitude to the comfortable but rather noisy household where we were brought up-added to the respectful fear in which she was held.We used to take it in turn to carry small delicacies which my mother had made down from the big house to the little cottage where Aunt Stephia and an old colored maid spent their days. Old Tnate Sanna would open the door to the rather frightened little messenger and would usher him-or her - into the dark voor-kamer, where the shutters were always closed to keep out the heat and the flies. There we would wait, in trembling but not altogether unpleasant.She was a tiny little woman to inspire so much veneration. She was always dressed in black, and her dark clothes melted into the shadows of the voor-kamer and made her look smaller than ever. But you felt. The moment she entered. That something vital and strong and somehow indestructible had come in with her, although she moved slowly, and her voice was sweet and soft.She never embraced us. She would greet us and take out hot little hands in her own beautiful cool one, with blue veins standing out on the back of it, as though the white skin were almost too delicate to contain them.
Tante Sanna would bring in dishes of sweet, sweet, sticky candy, or a great bowl of grapes or peaches, and Great-aunt Stephina would converse gravely about happenings on the farm ,and, more rarely, of the outer world.When we had finished our sweetmeats or fruit she would accompany us to the stoep, bidding us thank our mother for her gift and sending quaint, old-fashioned messages to her and the Father. Then she would turn and enter the house, closing the door behind, so that it became once more a place of mystery.
As I grew older I found, rather to my surprise, that I had become genuinely fond of my aloof old great-aunt. But to this day I do not know what strange impulse made me take George to see her and to tell her, before I had confided in another living soul, of our engagement. To my astonishment, she was delighted."An Englishman,"she exclaimed."But that is splendid, splendid. And you,"she turned to George,"you are making your home in this country? You do not intend to return to England just yet?"She seemed relieved when she heard that George had bought a farm near our own farm and intended to settle in South Africa. She became quite animated, and chattered away to him.After that I would often slip away to the little cottage by the mealie lands. Once she was somewhat disappointed on hearing that we had decided to wait for two years before getting married, but when she learned that my father and mother were both pleased with the match she seemed reassured.
Still, she often appeared anxious about my love affair, and would ask questions that seemed to me strange, almost as though she feared that something would happen to destroy my romance. But I was quite unprepared for her outburst when I mentioned that George thought of paying a lightning visit to England before we were married."He must not do it,"she cried."Ina, you must not let him go. Promise me you will prevent him."she was trembling all over. I did what I could to console her, but she looked so tired and pale that I persuaded her to go to her room and rest, promising to return the next day.When I arrived I found her sitting on the stoep. She looked lonely and pathetic, and for the first time I wondered why no man had ever taken her and looked after her and loved her. Mother had told me that Great-aunt Stephina had been lovely as a young girl, and although no trace of that beauty remained, except perhaps in her brown eyes, yet she looked so small and appealing that any man, one felt, would have wanted to protect her.She paused, as though she did not quite know how to begin.
Then she seemed to give herself, mentally, a little shake. "You must have wondered ", she said, "why I was so upset at the thought of young George's going to England without you. I am an old woman, and perhaps I have the silly fancies of the old, but I should like to tell you my own love story, and then you can decide whether it is wise for your man to leave you before you are married."



"I was quite a young girl when I first met Richard Weston. He was an Englishman who boarded with the Van Rensburgs on the next farm, four or five miles from us. Richard was not strong. He had a weak chest, and the doctors had sent him to South Africa so that the dry air could cure him. He taught the Van Rensburg children, who were younger than I was, though we often played together, but he did this for pleasure and not because he needed money.

A silent Love
From the very Begining, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.
Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"
As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.
After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"
The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.
The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.
One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......
The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.
During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.
With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....
The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.
With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.



A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.
When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

Romantic LOVE Letter!

This is a love letter from a boy to a girl....However, the girl's father does not like him and wanted them stop their relationship......and so.. the boy wrote this letter to the girl.. he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter..
1----"The great love that I have for you2---- is gone, and I find my dislike for you3---- grows every day. When I see you,4---- I do not even like your face;5---- the one thing that I want to do is to6---- look at other girls. I never wanted to
7---- marry you. Our last conversation8---- was very boring and has not9---- made me look forward to seeing you again.10--- You think only of yourself.11--- If we were married, I know that I would find12--- life very difficult, and I would have no13--- pleasure in living with you. I have a heart14--- to give, but it is not something that15--- I want to give to you. No one is more16--- foolish and selfish than you, and you are not17--- able to care for me and help me.18--- I sincerely want you to understand that19--- I speak the truth. You will do me a favor20---if you think this is the end. Do not try21--- to answer this. Your letters are full of22--- things that do not interest me. You have no23--- true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,24--- I do not care for you. Please do not think that25--- I am still your boyfriend."
So bad!! However, before handing over the letter tothe girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THELINES", meaning-only to read1.3.5.7.9.11.13.15.17.19.21.23.25. (Odd Numbers)